Improve the Divorce Process for the Mental Health of Children and Adults
Lack of Mandatory Steps in the Divorce Process, causing Negative Psychological Effects for Parents and Children
I was six years old when I found out that my father disabled my mother's car, broke her phone so she couldn’t contact anyone, and held a gun to his head threatening to kill himself if she left. After going back to this house, a painting covered the bullet hole in the wall, because my mother pulled the gun away from him as he went to shoot it. She was held there all night, trying to be there for him, so her kids would still have a father. I was eight years old when I found out my father's friend had to save him from hanging himself. My parents always put me in the middle of their divorce. They weren’t able to show up to any sporting events to support me, since they didn’t want to be around each other. So, I was left there alone. This is what I had to witness and go through growing up, and it took a big toll on my mental health. I wished that there would have been some way of helping my parents be able to communicate better, better ways for them and me to cope with their divorce.
Even though divorce doesn’t affect everyone, mental health is important for everyone to take care of.
As a child of divorce who was alienated by her father and a daughter of a father who had multiple suicide attempts, I know firsthand that a change needs to be made.
Many kids are left vulnerable and traumatized due to the conflicts between their parents.
Parenting classes are not mandatory in all states after a divorce, and therapy for the children is not mandatory, causing negative psychological repercussions for everyone involved (Divorce Writer, n.d.).
Around fifty percent of marriages end in divorce (Enloe, n.d.), and there are no measures put in place that are mandatory for parents or children to take, to help cope with what they went through. This is leading to higher suicide rates in men going through a divorce, bad co-parenting and children who are left on their own to learn how to cope with the challenges they face throughout the divorce (Anderson, 2014). Only seventeen states require mandatory parenting classes (Divorce Writer, n.d.).
Divorce has an emotional and psychological impact on children that can lead to depression, low life satisfaction, anxiety, substance abuse, lower academic achievement, loss of security and predictability and hinders relationships with family members (Marripedia, n.d.)
Information (sub-point): Some of the effects that a divorce has on parents include, on-going interparental conflicts and hostility, stress, depression, higher mortality rate for men and changes in weight (Rocheleau, 2024).
Now that we have discussed the problem at hand, let's look at what is causing this issue.
Cause: Insufficient mental health support for children and lack of mandatory parenting classes is leading to children and adults to have poor family dynamics.
Insufficient Mental Health Support for Children: There is a gap in providing accessible mental health support specifically tailored for children going through their parents’ divorce.
There is a lack of mandatory education and awareness on co-parenting that leaves parents ill-equipped to manage the parenting post-divorce.
Parents, oftentimes become overwhelmed with their own emotional struggles and this leads to the neglect of the child’s emotional needs (Anderson, 2014).
The transition from identifying the problem to proposing a solution is crucial. It requires a shift in perspective from acknowledging the negative effects of divorce on children and parent’s mental health to actively seeking ways to alleviate their distress.
As a way to improve the mental health of separated families and to give children and adults a better outcome, there should be two extra mandatory steps when it comes to getting a divorce. By making these co-parenting classes mandatory in all states and therapy optional for parents, while making therapy mandatory for children, we will be able to see better coping skills and healthier family dynamics.
There should be mandatory co-parenting classes that focus on effective communication, conflict resolution, and the importance of a united parenting approach post-divorce.
It should be mandatory children to go to therapy to have a safe place for them to express their feelings, learning healthy coping mechanisms and to help them navigate the changes in their family dynamic.
There is a problem that needs to be addressed to help children and adults when going through the divorce process, to produce better family dynamics.
These two extra steps need to be implemented in the divorce process, to help parents to be able to communicate better and for children to receive mandatory therapy to help them cope with the divorce and be equipped to make better decisions.
